Cultivating Camaraderie

At the beginning of the semester, chances are that your Connect Group members may not know each other well. Meeting new people can be one of the most uncomfortable things a person can experience, except maybe flunking a test or being overdrawn at the bank. If individuals are anxious about simply attending the group, it will be difficult to get them to study God's Word and to keep coming back. On the other hand, once the group is comfortable with each other, the relationships within the group will help stimulate the study of God's Word.

Initially, as a leader, you are the secret ingredient to building cohesiveness among your group members. If you wait for the group to come together on its own, it usually won't. You will often need to take steps to create the kind of atmosphere in which committed relationships can flourish. There are six ways you can help ways you can help create a sense of community and build camaraderie among Connect Group members.

Your Connect Group members will typically catch and model the attitude of the leader. If the leader is interested in everyone in the group, looks forward to being with them, and genuinely cares about helping the group learn and grow, the members will pick up on his or her attitude - it's contagious. Here are a few ways a leader can demonstrate a caring heart:

• Pay Attention. People want to know they are being listened to when they're speaking. Don't look ahead in your lesson or stare out the window.
• Be Responsive. When a members gives an answer or shares an insight opinion don't just nod and go on to the next person. Instead compliment the person or ask a follow-up question to show your interest.
• Value Others' Opinions. Everyone's input and opinions have value. Don't judge what they share and avoid giving pat answers or quick fixes to their problems. For example, if someone says they are struggling with missing a recently departed loved one, don't just fire back with "Well, you know you have all you need in God." No one wants pat answers. One of the best ways to show you value someone's opinions is to ask a follow-up question. You could ask this person, "How have you been doing lately?" or "What are your favorite things about them?" or let them know that you're praying for them, care for them, and that you're here for them during this time.
• Encourage interaction by asking for their input. What do they think? Do they agree? Disagree? Does anyone else have any input?
• Be real with your Connect Group. Laugh with them, share your struggles and victories, and share your life and love for the Lord. Let them be your friends. You don't have to spill your deepest secrets, but let them know you, too, are a real person who's in the process of becoming like Christ.
• Maintain confidentiality. If someone shares something confidentially, honor their request and don't share it outside of the group. Ask the rest of the group to do the same. If the group violates this principle, it will seriously deter others from sharing about their lives.
• Work through conflict. Tension in a Connect Group discussion can happen. Agree to work through any disagreements. You may have to act as a mediator to make sure all points of view are heard.

At the beginning of the Connect Group semester, an icebreaker is a great way to let people share experiences from their lives. If you need help thinking up some icebreakers throughout the semester, click the button below for a list 19 different icebreakers.

Prepare questions which will help the group interact with each other and God's Word. Provide opportunities for the members to state their observations and thoughts about what they're learning from the Bible. As your members interact with each other it will help facilitate self-discovered learning.

At the end of the group you could ask if anyone has a need for which they would like the group to pray. Perhaps it is a need that you, or the group, could help meet. When people begin to share about their lives, it draws a group together. As group members pray for one another, their care for one another grows as well. (New Christians may be hesitant and apprehensive at first, but a group will most likely pray more as its members grow and feel more comfortable with one another. Click the article below to read a post on how to teach a group to pray.)

Group activities are great for building unity in the group. Even something as simple as going to Starbucks or sitting together during church can help bond a group together. Involving a group in some kind of outreach can also unify a group. Click the article below to read more about outreach in your Connect Group.

As your members become more comfortable with you outside of your Connect Group, they'll be more open and honest inside the group. For more ideas on building relationships with your group members outside your group, click the article below.